[Music]
part one the before time
so as some of you may have noticed i do
videos about cartoons but if you're new
then you might not know that i got
started doing videos about my little
pony yes i'm serious and to be honest i
don't really regret it i had a fun time
going to conventions talking about my
favorite character seen here on the
screen for the majority of the time and
got to have an artistic outlet that was
brand new and super rewarding it still
is so let me be clear there are a lot of
positive people who still identify as a
brony the vast majority of in-person
experiences going to these various
conventions are positive the whole
reason i try to make an active attempt
to going to conventions even now is that
it is emotionally rewarding to see and
interact with people who consume our
content it makes me feel like i'm doing
more than just making videos on the
internet but there are some really
rotten apples let me tell you what and
what's not to like about apples there's
decor
and sour apples and rotten apples and
apples with worms in them
what
not helping for those of you who don't
know what cancel culture is welcome to
the internet here's your i'm new to
internet culture button but basically
it's when a group of people gang up on
an individual for something that is
perceived to be very bad in the past
usually a racist remark or a homophobic
rework or their pedophile
there can potentially be some good
coming from this when the actions of
specific pedophiles are brought to the
public attention and potential victims
are warned when past victims recover but
it is kind of orphaned to bring up
people's mistakes from the past and
shoving them in other people's faces in
an effort to prove ex-person is bad and
will always be bad forever and ever and
ever and ever something i don't think a
lot of people really realize is this
stuff is not sourced a lot of the time
anyone can open up photoshop and make a
comment that someone said that is a bad
look remember in high school or if
you're still in high school less when
your teachers made you cite your sources
on whatever three page research paper
you're writing at the time to prove
where you got your information there's a
reason why we do that to stop and source
back misinformation and judging by all
the fake news that there has been the
last like five years or so the internet
in general doesn't do it that often i
think a good chunk of this comes down to
many people using fandom and fandom
culture as a way to escape and find new
identity we can hide behind a furrio sea
or my little ponyo sea and meet new
people go to cons and have a sense of
escapism from a very tedious sometimes
broken life in general i do think fandom
culture as a whole was great it connects
people let people be passionate about
things that they resonate with whether
that be horse jesus or regular jesus but
it also exists in this sort of weird
bubble where you can just kind of lose
yourself in it and that children brings
us the beginning of the worst summer of
my life
fasten your seat belts it's going to be
a bumpy night
some quick disclaimers before i move on
the first thing you might ask is why now
and the answer to that question is
complicated i guess the short version is
i finally feel i can comfortably talk
about this in a bare bones way more
confidently in the past i've talked
about the situation that you're all
about to hear about in passing talked
about the real life effects of it talked
about how it affected me because i feel
like i had to for people who might be
suffering like this and didn't have
resources to help themselves but never
the details because i just assumed it
would go away boy was i wrong second i'm
going to name parties but for the most
part this all happened a while ago
everything i'm going to talk about for
the most part is already public
information and part of the point of
this story is to show you how negative
harassment can be so uh don't harass
anyone listed or named here please
again for those who don't know i have a
team of volunteers who help me make my
videos there are many reasons i choose
and continue to do this but the many
reasons are to streamline the production
process so i can focus on the parts i
like the most which are scripting and
the visuals but also to make the process
more fun through cooperation of this
video technically the channel is still
non-profit we do monetize the videos now
but that's only to help with the youtube
algorithm and the lifetime total so far
is like 30
look at me i can buy a pizza
my biggest fear is dividing pay and in
turn not being around genuine people who
really care about animation like i do
but let me make this clear this is my
decision i understand if you might not
agree with it or you might think i'm
stupid for not paying people and
choosing not to gain money myself at
this moment but please respect my
decision and don't assume that i'm just
an idiot who doesn't know what i'm doing
one of my mistakes going into all this
is not having a clear idea about what
motivated the other party nowadays it's
mostly college students using their work
to fill out some prerequisite for school
or to practice their skills before
joining the workforce as well as the
community aspect i mentioned earlier and
back in the day i wasn't so diligent
about it the funniest thing about all
this is that these are people on the
internet i can't force them to do
anything and they are more than welcome
to move on if there's some long-term
commitment that's preventing them from
working hence this but this is a bad
idea
but this is too demanding and a hot mess
you are more than welcome to leave do
not pass go do not collect
200. you're done sir so this video is
going to talk a lot about human
psychology which i'm sure you weren't
expecting for in this for my main
response to just all this in general i'm
going to source an article i found we're
researching this video called five
reasons why it's okay to tell people
your story of abuse by connie baker who
is a professional psychologist and
mostly specializes in church and
religious themed abuse so you know
there's some tying themes here
it's okay to tell your story because it
shines a light into dark places creates
healthier communities and empowers
others to break the silence there's an
enforced silence surrounding abuse which
not only harms our communities but also
additional abuse victims and pressuring
victims to stay silent or to tell their
story in a certain way or at a certain
time that sounds familiar we traumatize
them and add to their shame and pain
when someone is abused their power to
speak is taken away by an abuser so if
survivors are not allowed to determine
when and how they tell their stories we
again empower the perpetrator and
disempower the victim and we breed
toxicity and deception in our churches
and communities which hurts everyone
breaking the silence is a threat to the
status quo and also a threat to abusers
victims of abuse are often threatened
with horrible things if they talk about
what's happened to them exposing the
truth is a declaration of freedom
empowerment for survivors and both are
essential steps towards healing it's
okay to tell your story to bring
awareness that abuse is a serious
problem in our churches and society or
in this case our fandoms and promote
understanding of the different types of
abuse when we refuse to see the abuse
academic in our society we enable
abusers and bolster abusive systems in
telling the truth about what we're
facing we refuse to allow people in
communities to live in denial abuse
flourishes where people families
workplaces and religious institutions
minimize abuse and make excuses instead
of changes when we don't speak up it
becomes easier for others to know that
there's a problem when we do we force
people to confront hard truths
oppression is undermined when we clearly
name abuse expose oppressors and take
action change begins with
acknowledgement i also wanted to discuss
this now so we can prevent situations
like this with the rise of internet and
cancel culture it's important to have
credible sources for whatever you're
consuming and now all this stuff with
facebook i think people really need to
consider where they're getting their
news sources from the other thing is
that if you're slandered and your
credibility is tainted then you need
sources to back everything up or else
people will just think you're lying i'm
sure there's tons of people who would
like to believe that i'm just making up
this whole story just so i'm not the bad
guy but i have sources i have people i
have quotes this is important part of
understanding this incident part two the
a on twitter aka you were wrong about
some facts
now that you have that background this
big 2016 incident begins with the
release of our big group project a
different perspective
at the time people were frustrated that
it had my pony original character when i
was trying to push a straight narrative
it was problematic because the
disassociation from my avatar to the
character and the story just wasn't
there so people thought this was an
egotistical move because it was me as a
pony with a non-profit project creating
this narrative about
my fan fiction or something if i were to
do it again i would have just made a
completely new character so this
wouldn't be a problem or just you know
not do it animation is hard and so
enters ex-team member michael boggs oh
boy yes that michael bogzy hold on let
me let me let me do my best edgy boy
douche bag impression can the other edit
like a backwards cap on me
cool the tale of michael boggs the tale
of michael boggs begins about six months
or so prior to the release of despective
he was an editor on the team who was
very young be careful with those
children let me tell you what don't hire
minors who did a good job but was
originally caught lying about his age at
the time we gave him pass because he had
a clean record otherwise he was assigned
to edit the animatic version of the
dispected project and rough animation
but what eventually caught up to him was
his failure to commit to deadlines when
he was working on our review of my
little pony movie called equestria games
it's like the olympics but
with ponies but they're not ponies
i guess he kept on exaggerating his
progress without showing any proof of
progress and even with the final warning
he still didn't finish the project on
his own deadline it had to be completed
by someone else so let me just state for
the record michael was fired for not
doing his job and he had a chance to
communicate with us any problems but he
didn't he just kind of you know lied and
bit off more than he could chew things
didn't progress with michael until he
was under the influence of past
animators christian john and editor the
lost narrator it's also important to
note that mike here didn't have a bad
experience he was just doing this
because i guess his friends were into it
or something you know if your friends
jump off a cliff right if memory serves
he even wrote me a little note that he
wasn't mad at anyone for the outcome and
this and that he understood even
offhandedly referencing his trouble with
local police
okay though i did receive some
harassment from the despective project
the instigator of all this online
harassment was actually magnified and
continued through the use of this
twitter called a non-kp leaks run by
boggs with influence from three other
people when the animatics were
originally leaked i had a feeling it was
bogged due to his age and easily
influenced personality and then when it
was leaked for a second time i could
tell it was done from someone who was a
brony because it was targeting specific
brony websites like derpyroo like come
on i'm not sure why he did this besides
ecoboost or something like that but keep
in mind he just did the editing he was
leaking other people's work other
people's art other people's animation
without their permission and consent and
it's kind of a bad look when you don't
get an artist's consent to leak their
you know work in progress back to the
vocal backlash on twitter which probably
would have died down because of the mary
sue complaints if not for boggs and then
when things got worse twitter basically
took things i said out of context made
things up you know the usual twitter
garbage twitter is garbage so even
though there's a disconnect between the
intended interpretation and the actual
interpretation there's also a disconnect
between the severity of the crime and
the gleeful savagery of the punishment
and people they believed it it was much
easier than i would have ever thought
for people to just get on board with
this and much of my disbelief was how
many people got on the hate train
you know things like people telling me
to kill myself every day people making
fun of me and editing weird photoshops
of my face you know things people have
time for i guess
thinking for yourself what's that so a
the first thought you might have is this
was made to help a team because i
personally wasn't listening to any
criticism as well as pushing people
beyond their limits to produce work
that's a lie because the account was run
only by bogs influenced by a couple of
others the majority of the narrative was
not projected remember this was two
people who initially had a positive
experience who had unaddressed
grievances that they never tried to
address with me directly i think a lot
of my issues that i had with her
were
kind of my own fault they were pretty
self-inflicted
every single
problem that i had with her i never
directly confronted her about i would
always just talk about her behind
people's backs
and i just thought it was okay to do
that time to bring the curtain down on
mr wacky pants's career right there were
never any people who were feeling abused
by the team you got dupe there karen uh
that feels nice to say the second big
thing from this is that people thought
that this was helping the team at the
time that is also false it was actually
hurting a lot of the team members at the
time here are some testimonies of people
past and present that were affected by
this while on the team more testimonies
are in the description so i felt that
this was a good way for them to
basically have their own voice i feel
that the drama has misrepresented the
team as a whole we have a supportive
group who can have an enjoyable
experience with all members including kp
a lot of people are like oh yeah that's
just you know you just work and you
don't get anything just like well
a couple things haven't met a i met a
lot of really cool people b i learned a
lot of really good editing techniques
because i
talked with other editors for the things
that are being you know said around that
oh
kp treats her editors or team members
like slaves that's not the case from the
time i've been there she has been
nothing but open-minded i had
fun on the team i had the privilege of
meeting some of team kp to which my
initial reaction was she still has a
staff
and it's true a bunch of real
sweethearts who in defiance of twitter
reason common sense and probable human
resource statutes actually still love i
love kim possible a lot
a lot in fact there were several past
and current team members who were
speaking out at the time because they
didn't like how this was going down i'm
usually very good at judging people's
characters as trust
is a huge part for me and it's killing
me to see so many people getting
stressed regarding this situation
if this was your goal congratulations is
in order pat yourselves on the back
because as of 30 minutes ago our former
member
and a very good friend of mine close to
two years left the chat permanently
after learning how deep this mistrust is
going i was also always open to talk to
these mysterious totally edgy anonymous
people that was one of the points right
but boggs declined to talk to me
directly so that's why it went on for
several months it was just all for show
even from the get-go i think some of
this attitude comes a lot from this old
motion graphics project that took a long
time to make as a fun joke and then we
took it totally seriously i won't lie
this was originally a hot mess and i
probably shouldn't have taken on a
project like this so early on in my
youtube career but after the initial
bumps things seemed to be going okay i
think the biggest hesitation from cast
members at the time was the performance
of the final product and it did fine
hell it did more than fine damn but yeah
that didn't help matters but this fan
fiction is really bad though but she
doesn't even pay us
but she's so nitpicky with my work you
are more than welcome to leave the other
this stuff must be true bit comes from
sean who talked about his bit publicly
and after the fiasco not everyone
followed up on the aftermath of this so
here's the dltr basically he misled
people on an issue that wasn't really an
issue at the time and to my surprise it
was the video
on the twitter and probably just the
post in general that blew up the most
and had the most outcry
and even i will admit at the time the
video released i didn't again i wasn't
even really offended when it came out
but i just thought oh if we post this
people get riled up about it and that's
fun
and thinking back that was really wrong
of me to do especially since i had boxy
frame it as oh
you have to emphasize this this was
during a family emergency now wait you
might say there was some text apology
that you had your team write for you um
i don't know if people know how google
drive documents work but those edits
were clearly on suggestion as in this
piece is already there people are
suggesting word edits we'll get to who
was leaking this [\h__\h] in a hot minute
but one of the issues that i realized
was admitting and apologizing for this
thing means that many people would
perceive me guilty of said thing this is
a general thing that happens a lot in uq
culture where people apologize for
things that you know they may or may not
have done wrong but it doesn't matter
because the general public will perceive
that they did the bad thing or else why
would they be apologizing for it i sure
learned my lesson let me tell you
twitter always has a villain of the day
to a certain extent the villain of the
day almost follows a script person says
dumb thing it gets some attention a
person gets defensive the defensiveness
spurns outrage people start coming out
with receipts the op deletes their
account
and twitter is garbage because the user
experience is designed to encourage this
kind of behavior i also have a tendency
to give people too much of the benefit
of the doubt
but you know the other problem with the
apology is that it confirmed any rumor
that people might have read about me any
even the ones that were crazy and it
definitely affirmed that i was
responsible for abusing multiple people
and fans to do my bidding when the
reality of the situation is that it was
four people behind the twitter and two
of them had a positive experience and
the other two had experiences and issues
that they never addressed to me directly
there are no mistreated team people they
just don't exist it's fiction we made it
up we made this one up it's a made-up
tale it's a total fabrication it never
happened i think it's important remember
too that there is a big difference
between getting cancelled and just
getting harassed off the internet to be
honest i think the term getting canceled
is thrown around a little bit too much
that's not cancelled that's the law
when you do a crime you go to jail
you're not getting sold
and sometimes serious issues can be
misaddressed because people just assume
the person on the other end deserved it
and that's not always necessarily the
case sometimes these incidents have real
consequences and i don't think people
understand the magnitude of that when
they just say oh that person got
cancelled stop calling it that please
but with my situation and others i think
i can greatly oversimplify that these
kind of public shaming and online
harassment campaigns can have real
consequences on a lot of the parties
involved so be considerate and please
think about if the c word applies to
your specific situation that you're
referencing the other c word there you
go if you're curious who was leaking
stuff it was outside people added to the
teen group and a client and past editor
northbridge northridge was not only
lying publicly but also lying directly
to the team great so kp are you saying
that michael purposely sabotaged people
he did not know for the sake of
attention and inflate his own ego even
lying to his own friends about his
experiences working for me so he could
fit in and gain more attention yep
that's what i'm saying if you don't
believe me hear it from him himself
attention
it got to me
i'm not gonna
i'm gonna be honest about that the the
the attention got to me okay the lying
about being fired that's that's just a
simple that's a simple one i didn't
i didn't want to look like you know
i just didn't want to yeah i don't know
how to explain that i didn't want to
look like
um
i left because i was fired i was
embarrassed by that i guess you could
say so when my original apology video
was released it got spread around and i
think helps in some ways elevate and
spread rumors even faster but in other
ways confirmed any rumor that people
might have access to which i think made
things a lot worse side note i also
think this character of mine who is a
lazy freeloading manipulative kp monster
is the most hilarious but unrealistic
person like it's also based on these
ideas that people are so easy to
manipulate that they'll work hard for no
internal motivation and or because they
want to get into my pants like they can
just neglect real life forever and just
work work faster that's some pretty low
standards of intelligence for people who
want to work around me and people that
you might be advocating for my dude so
went on like this for a little while
michael would use the account to lie or
take something i said years ago out of
context or pretend issues that were a
big deal that turned out not to be a big
deal and loss only contributed to the
fake legal threat that had already been
proven to not be true the tldr is that
this
is utter nonsense especially this bit
cover your assets kids we don't upset
them dc librarians it should go without
saying that harassment lying to the
public you know is hella illegal the
biggest thing that weighed on me and my
mental health is that whoever was doing
this felt so hurt and angry that they
justified this campaign to harass me and
hate me as this gross kp monster it was
horrible it made me feel like i was a
monster and that really just was not fun
for those who don't know i developed
real people ptsd and i'll probably touch
on how that over complicated my life in
a little bit this is such a fun video
and there are honestly way more people
who are believing all this [\h__\h] face
value than generally should be
acceptable with everything that has
happened in the last decade from the
anti-vaxxers to flat earthers i imagine
that something that was originated as
anonymous confession if that's what you
want to call it didn't make people more
skeptical than it should have been how
do you know if any of this stuff is true
what do you mean
how do you know someone didn't just make
it up what you mean just lie
you really think someone would do that
just go on the internet and tell lies
hell there were a lot of people i
considered my friends at the time who
were talking about this publicly and not
even bothering to check if i was okay
that's like learning that your friend
was in a car crash instead of you know
going to the hospital you just talk
about it on facebook you're a great
person there steve because i chose not
to detail and explain what really
happened people chose to believe limited
information that they understood and in
turn justified their treatment and the
way they talked and treated me bad faith
believers didn't understand or know who
boggs was because i didn't draw
attention to it they didn't have faith
that this was a cause of one child and a
couple of friends that made up rumors
because it was fun and it got attention
and people believed everything at face
value and that's a really damning
assessment of my character all of the
posts that me and sean contributed were
all within the first three days of the
twitter's creation um after that we were
kind of starting to take a backseat
and kind of slowly start to distance
ourselves from it because it had just
gone so far hell your average first
impression of another person is seven
seconds so are you saying random people
on the internet that you know more about
a situation in seven seconds because it
shows up on your twitter timeline than
someone who had to live through it or go
through it video's so salty
the ceiling salt the floor salt the
walls are soft and to an extent the air
is soft i think a lot of times when this
happens people want to beat down on
something they want to prove that they
are a good person compared to this
monster but in reality by doing that
they lose sight of their humanity on the
other side as an egotistical maniac
because it morally justifies behavior
that might be in the gray and a part of
that these days is the desire to perform
allyship white people in particular all
want to be told they're one of the good
ones in a fundamentally unjust world
it's satisfying to take a cosseted bigot
down a peg so if we can only get one
more wrong-headed bigoted head on a pike
humiliate one more blackface doer or one
more appropriative food blogger we could
heal this world yeah you can dock
someone and harass them because look
don't they deserve it they did this to
themselves right and that's the thing
with michael even now he is so paranoid
and how others view him he still refuses
to agree that twitter was a bad idea
even though it hurt the people it should
have been advocating for because he
doesn't want to be viewed as the bad guy
he doesn't want to face the reality that
he was manipulated by a couple of
friends and then got high on the
attention that this was getting he
didn't even want to publicly apologize
because of the ego and how about make
others view him sorry for making this
video but it wouldn't have happened if
you like cleaned up your mess you little
[\h__\h] he didn't really go out of his way
to really understand he did the bare
minimum so this goes on for five months
and i am just a wreck where sean and
christian confessed to me after they
realized michael was going too far and
was still trying to bait and harass me
after i went dark and you know was
suicidal it's fine you think about it
she disappeared because of a constant
like think about it foxy all you were
doing was posting harassment which is
illegal
harassment what did i do harassment-wise
you constantly were badgering her to the
point to where if any time she spoke to
a point of just completely putting her
into a corner and good old mike was more
hurt that his friends ratted him out
than you know his actual actions you can
hear this when his tone of voice changes
before and after i added him to the call
where he originally confessed would you
be willing to
apologize to kp
it's a very good question
i'd have to think about that
but
the real question is
did you guys snitch
and i won't be mad if you did i just
want to know just be straight up with me
i'd like to apologize for everything
that i've done and i've known
you've been going through hell recently
and what i've done
was very immature of me
and
all i can say at this point is i'm very
sorry i put you through that hell and no
other person should have to go through
that [\h__\h] he then proceeds to my
favorite part of all this stay home from
school the next day not out of guilt or
remorse but because he was caught
because his friends ride on him and it
made him cry
trouble
no way you're only in trouble if you get
caught gotcha i'm in trouble but
essentially people psychologically don't
like to be held accountable for things
that they did so what he's doing here is
he's trying to mitigate and deflect his
actions because in reality he's at the
very least narcissistic so he doesn't
really want to be held accountable
anything they can do to place blame on
someone else so they don't feel
personally responsible or at least in
the public side a whole range of not
taking responsibility but don't worry
i'll make them take responsibility
because i've had enough [\h__\h] i'm so
[\h__\h] done so how many signs of
narcissistic tendency did michael
possess
preoccupied with self lack of empathy
need for approval inability to accept
criticism exaggeration envy of others
passive regression preoccupation
fantasies of unlimited success how many
does michael seem to demonstrate in his
actions
look at that all of them
keep in mind that i'm not a professional
and even if these traits apply they
don't excuse his actions when i talk to
michael's mom about this her attitude
was a very unsympathetic my son was sad
he learned his lesson internet lady and
when i followed up with her to contact
her how michael was going on podcasts to
dunk and brag about his harassment she
ignored my email great parenting jan
well i thought that at the time like i i
legit did and i kind of it was i was
more of influenced by how everybody was
calling her a [\h__\h] and all that and i
was just like well these
that's how she treated everyone else
then i mean yeah i should you know
something should be done about it
vigilante justice at its finest she also
didn't ask about you know medical bills
or a possible liability none of that
stupid [\h__\h] then came the apologies for
most parties that should have been a
bigger deal but some of the general
consensus was basically oh the drum was
gone on for too long just make it end so
people i think tuned out at that point
as far as loss from my guests didn't
want to face accountability for her
actions remember what i said that broken
people are attracted to fandoms a lot of
the time this is a general thing imagine
someone who had a hard time and not an
ideal life and then once they start
making fandom content validation
validation everywhere views are going up
you're getting invited to conventions
little children and people coming up to
you and now you're signing [\h__\h] and
think wow that old life sure was shitty
i never want to lose validation from
these random strangers just a disclaimer
that i don't know any of these people
that well it's just a guess i imagine
she panicked and said this to me which
is gaslighting and then yelled at her
friends for not telling her that they
were going to confront me first the
reality is if i never talked to lost
prior to the confession i would have
treated her like sean and christian
people who made stupid and very bad
mistakes and then tried to atone for
them but i confronted her before
december to try to figure out what the
[\h__\h] even happened and she lied about
her knowledge that she knew who was
behind the twitter and even suggested it
might be michael based on past history
and she didn't say anything if i'd gone
on the proof earlier we could have
stopped everything sooner the
frustration i had with lost is even
though her role was minimal in fact
checking the legal threat it bothered me
that she lied to me originally when i
first contacted her before sean and
christian confessed to me as well as she
was not willing to come out publicly and
admit that she was part of this she's
not responsible for boggs's actions but
she is responsible for influencing a
minor as well as the other two as well
as her issues being unaddressed to me
first and considering how this was
destroying me and my family even it was
cruel to indirectly prolong that
harassment but a lie of a mission is
still a lie
all of this because assumingly there
were some miscommunications with her
work on the john de lancie video but due
to some re-recordings on my end that's
my bad it had to be re-edited and let me
tell you i am a huge [\h__\h] when it comes
to producing these videos especially big
projects like this there's usually an
average about five to ten renders so
much feedback i get it i can come off as
a perfectionist and that can be
aggravating so what she thought was that
i wanted my friend nick to edit it
because he knew john de lancie and maybe
he could get him to see the video uh
that didn't work out by the way but the
reality was the re-recording so she
edits like 10 versions of this render
and then it seems like i'm taking away
from her but the reality was because i
re-recorded it it needed to be timed
differently and if she didn't want to do
that i understood because like i'm a
[\h__\h] like i said so she bowed out from
not editing the thing someone else
stepped in i credit them both we move on
that's why nick wasn't credited in the
final project by the way he never
actually you know did anything on it in
that situation though like phone someone
for help talk to me about a solution
there are a million other ways to handle
this so the thing that really kills me
about all this is that michael and lost
were more worried about their perception
and how their peers viewed them than you
know coming clean as they you know
didn't come clean i had to be told about
their actions from another person even
when things were hitting the fan loss
tried to beg people not to mention her
publicly because she didn't want to take
responsibility because people might
judge her based on her actions first of
all what about me i've been going
through six months of total horseshit
people telling me to kill myself every
day and you can't take accountability
for doing the bad thing that caused that
you delayed telling me critical
information that would have stopped this
sooner and why
because you didn't want to get publicly
outed it seems like your reputation in
the my little pony fandom was more
important than other people's well-being
again it's all about the psychology of
you don't want to see yourself as the
bad guy as well as my brand my brand i
can't let these people know that i did a
bad thing even though you did the bad
thing jan are we the baddies and like i
said this wasn't helping the team we
tried to talk to edgy boy douchebag
michael from the gecko about these
problems but he ignored us so it wasn't
about helping the perceived team at that
point it was about getting attention and
more attention and that's the kp under
the bus because it's fun and let's call
her rachel publicly to creep her out
because we're using her real name
because we're totally not stalkers
totally not if they had all given
genuine public apologies explaining what
they did then it would have been a lot
better ah jesus christ and then it got a
little worse because this huge snowball
of not taking accountability kept on
building and building and building and
they kept calling me bad things because
i wanted them to take accountability so
people could realize what happened you
know but they refused to do that i
eventually got on a call with mag lost
his partner because lass wouldn't talk
to me because i yelled at her fine and
what i learned is that car was recorded
without mike and sender knowledge and
was potentially going to be leaked
public if i were to lie about what
happened in the call and that's just
villainizing me because it's assuming
i'm gonna lie and you know as a victim
of all this stuff that just bad faith
guys really it's also morally wrong to
record someone without their consent or
knowledge just because it's on a
state-by-state basis doesn't mean you're
morally in the right just because it's
technically not illegal what are we
children
his apology was nice but this would have
been much better you know when this
issue happened and not in the threat of
going public and the threat of
correcting the narrative before i
correct my own narrative or whatever the
highlights are here in your confusion i
don't want you to make a poor decision
that will only make things worse so in
saying that i'm confused it's a
statement that i don't have a good grasp
of reality and i'm doing something bad
like all victims just don't have a good
grasp of reality and they might do
something unrational because they're
just so hurt by their pain and that's
really undermining to what the victim is
potentially saying and also really
hurtful like oh all victims just don't
know what they're talking about and
they're just confused and they might
just do something unrational and it's
just so disgusting like why would you
say that why would you assume that
someone is potentially distorting facts
because they were traumatized like
that's undermining what the person went
through in their own trauma the fandom
will move on when you do
i think everyone at this point just
wants this to go away again this is
minimizing trauma and assuming that
everyone will move on because i'm
purposely holding on to this trauma and
you know i just don't want to let it go
because i have a need for revenge or
something like that and trauma doesn't
work that way i'm sorry i don't know
where you heard that from but you know
people don't choose to hold on to their
trauma purposely victims usually seek
validation and justice in order to heal
and that's not them holding on to their
trauma purposely that's because they
want to try to heal so this is
potentially undermining what i went
through and what a potential victim
might go through if they're traumatized
naming names is trying to get
retribution for what happened by
mismatching someone else
no jan that's not how naming victims
works like have you seen any of the
harvey weinstein stuff like it's okay to
have thoughts and feelings that you
don't understand
again this is undermining my point of
view and assuming that i'm just confused
because i'm traumatized and and i don't
have a clear perception of reality and
you know i'm just doing things
irrationally because i'm just trying to
heal and like it's it's undermining of
my point of view
do you understand that by your
definition of running away
it sounds like you just want revenge so
justice like we'll talk about later but
just because a victim wants justice in a
specific situation or at least clarity
for the pr mass that someone else caused
does not mean revenge oh god that's such
a bad read do the cosby victims wanting
cosby to go to jail did they just want
revenge even though some of them settled
out of court like that's not people want
justice because it's a part of the
healing process oh god
getting closure is not necessarily the
same thing
it's calling someone out by name so
victims generally want justice and
that's not the same thing as closure and
that's not the same thing as revenge
either it's frustrating because like you
shouldn't assume that you know how
someone suffers because potentially
you've suffered as well and by assuming
that people are just holding on to their
trauma because they want you or because
they need to in order to feel validated
or because they're doing it by choice is
just really insulting again to how
people process their own trauma
i only found out that this call was
recorded by a leaked chat
[Music]
and i also wasn't supposed to know until
this got leaked it's like you want to
support abuse victims but only when it's
convenient
[Music]
not yet lol like i said i don't start
the drama i finish them lol
that sounds like a threat and she hasn't
dropped my name yet it won't help anyone
her team is so brainwashed it's not even
funny so who are you advocating for when
you participated in the thing were you
just doing it because you were mad at me
or what and [\h__\h] her i don't want her
getting views i feel slimy reading this
but actually funny enough my views
started going down when i had to take a
break from the ptsd that other people
caused good job thanks for that she just
needs to focus on her [\h__\h] content
and stop trying to start [\h__\h] then again
i think i'm giving her too much credit
there lol
um i don't really give a [\h__\h] how this
video performs actually i think it was
just important to talk about and i think
it's been long enough that i can talk
about this openly i think the tldr of
all of this is just because someone's
been through a traumatic experience
doesn't mean that they know or have the
authority to talk to someone else about
their trauma they might have a similar
experience that they share but that
doesn't necessarily mean that those two
issues are the same and that doesn't
necessarily mean that they have a degree
in psychology suddenly and they know how
to deal with all the trauma because of
their own experiences i'm advising when
you speak to someone about traumatic
experience that you use words like in my
experiences or this is how i dealt with
it instead of assuming that you know
about how each individual traumatic
thing affected each individual person
it's just ignorant at the end of the day
and just a little mental health 101 you
never ever ever assume that you know
more about the person's trauma than the
victim themselves or the incident that
they're dealing with it can come off as
incredibly dismissive and i think a lot
of the quotes mentioned are because of
this the sad thing about talking about
this now are two realities one some
people are okay with this and are just
going to ignore it because they're
afraid to speak out that sometimes
people like this have power and they
don't want to isolate their chances of
working generally by addressing this
isn't that why people with trauma from
horrible person are afraid to speak out
second that i lost touch of reality due
to what i went through and what i was
currently doing now is reminding people
out of this for clout or tension or some
[\h__\h] again trauma is lasting the
stupid internet [\h__\h] has complicated my
personal life significantly but people
tend to forget that because oh internet
people oh it's not in your face all the
time additionally implying that a victim
speaking out has lost touch with reality
and that has caused the delay do you
realize how unsympathetic and disgusting
that sounds right again just victims of
these two public outcries came out years
or even decades after the abuse in
question took place i feel relieved now
to know that i'm able to sit and not be
afraid anymore i've been afraid for a
long time are they lying are they doing
it solely for attention let me make this
clear you cannot pretend you are
advocates and allies for sexual abuse
survivors if you're pulling this kind of
[\h__\h] if you're manipulating and
gaslighting and privately threatening
one of your own victims because you
don't want to face public consequence
you're not the monster the victim is the
monster do you understand how [\h__\h] that
is stop [\h__\h] off and stop treating
people like this
to be fair i tried to make peace with
them and on reflection it's very much
like this around this time mike tries to
apologize again i think mostly just to
tell people if they bring it up that he
quote unquote tried to apologize but it
was a really shitty apology and you know
he's just doing a great job trying to
get me to talk to him you know the
victim mako makes a video where he fake
cries essentially on camera and then
takes the video down within 24 hours
because 4chan got a hold of it
it just i can't make this [\h__\h] up
luckily we backed it up because i'm not
stupid so i originally ignore him but
then he tries to email me with this
horrible take the last time we actually
spoke was in a time of when i was put on
the spot for a situation i barely knew
how to handle it was a half-assed
conversation i didn't want to really
apologize then however as time passes
minds are changed my view on the whole
anon kp leak situation is as follows i
do not regret making it because at the
time i truly believed i was doing
something for the better good however
things went out of hand fast and i do
regret the outcome of the whole thing i
know how badly this has affected you and
your mental health and there isn't any
amount of apologies in the world to fix
that i may not be a fan of yours but no
human being should have to go through
what you're going through now i'm going
to let you decide what happens next you
can either respond to this email and we
can go on with our lives or if you want
we can talk more over on here discord
skype whatever if you choose the first
option you'll never hear from me again
if you choose the second one then i'll
be looking forward to talking with you
boggs
this is difficult you haven't made this
easy you're full of ego you say you
changed your mind but you don't regret
what you did you know how bad this
affected my health really i sometimes
don't express myself well but you assume
things about me that weren't true and
lied to people to inflate the drama all
while i was unable to respond use your
power to crush me and hurt a lot and you
don't regret doing what you did what
exactly do you want from me but then you
say you don't regret the outcome what
you got caught so what you'll be more
careful next time there'll be a next
time what direction were you expecting
it to go you say you know how badly this
affected me would you like to speak to
my parents and find out if that's true
i'll arrange this if you're serious nice
to know that you're not a fan the king
descends from his throne to speak his
lonely rabble no poor present should
suffer so thanks you want to talk to me
as though we're equals you're a proven
liar mud racker and gossip how can i
ever trust you even with these little
things like a private conversation
practically no one i know wants me to
ever have anything to do with you her
actions have cost my family thousands of
dollars in therapy bills and now i have
a disability never hearing from you
again would be an easy blessing you want
peace want to look yourself in the
mirror and see a good guy ask yourself
about what you would tell someone who is
about to do what you did and tell
everyone clearing the air to the public
would be a good start in a way that's
not just directed at me and one that you
don't admit you faked your way through
after the fact i'm sorry you're afraid
of having the video spread around that's
the tip of the iceberg do you even
realize how this affected my team my
friends and my family even now you say
you want to apologize to me but this is
not just about me make the video name
all relevant parties it'd be a start
[Music]
all i can say is this
i was delusional and let things get to
my head if i wear to go back and change
things i wouldn't have slandered and
said such harsh comments only facts i
also would have made an actual apology
video being sincere instead of just
trying to bs my way out of the whole
drama all i want from you is nothing
keep being you
i'm only trying to apologize and make my
point i've been over this drama and
anything else drama related to you for
over a year and a half now it's not
worth my time i'm also not here to
sugarcoat anything i'm not going to
pretend i'm someone wanting to be
friends i do however feel it's necessary
to be mature and that we both act like
adults to each other
want to look yourself in the mirror and
see a good guy this really stuck to me
for a good while you know i look in the
mirror and only see a person who's made
good and bad choices i only see me
if i'm a bad guy to your eyes and i
can't change that even if i try do you
want peace peace sells but who's buying
if that's an option then i'll gladly
take it if not then so be it if somebody
were to do something like what i did to
you i tell them it's not worth it just
let it be the outcome may not be what
you're expecting because this whole
drama ended up wasting everyone's time
and energy that's the biggest fact how
can i ever trust you even with little
things like a private conversation
all i can say to that is if i wear you
i could never trust me either you say
you want to apologize to me but this is
not just me make the video name all
relevant parties that's just the thing
though i've apologized to everyone
already privately forever ago i already
did make a video back in october on my
mlp account expressing my thoughts on
everything that happened it may not be
as clear as in this email but it gets
all the same points across so i'm not
going to make any more videos sorry i
just don't see the point in its
relevance i'll leave you with this just
know i don't have a grudge or hate
towards you i don't want to be involved
in any other person's meddling with you
which i hope doesn't happen and i wish
you all the best of luck with your life
i'll leave you alone now because i know
that to you is a blessing
so peace
that the idea was always about keeping
me quiet and not admitting what you did
publicly and it still doesn't sit right
with me so
i'm done
i'm [\h__\h] done
part three yes this is still affecting a
lot of things that's the last time i've
talked to him as far as my feelings
about it i think this clip does a better
job than i could articulate
hey i wanted to talk to you about
you know i
feel bad about
what happened
so you're apologizing
yes
i'm sorry okay i don't forgive you
herb i said i'm sorry yeah
and i do not forgive you uh
not sure you get what's happening here
this could be the last time that no i'm
not gonna give you closure you don't get
that
you have to live with the shitty thing
you did for the rest of your life you
have to know that it's never ever going
to be okay i really think that we'd both
feel better if we just dying i'm not
gonna feel better and i'm not gonna be
your prop so you can feel better and
then there was the more punishing now
despite all this i still thought someone
highly of the community most of my
in-person reactions were positive but
generally my little pony cons with some
exceptions
[Music]
we're letting this [\h__\h] influence
their opinions about me now let me be
clear these conventions can book whoever
the hell they want i am not entitled to
go to a my little pony convention what i
was particularly upset about is that the
peers and people that were usually
booked with me were getting rebooked and
i was not and then conventions tried to
lie about the reasons why or justify the
whole debacle as a sign of a bigger
issue that they did not understand nor
were they interested in investigating
like this could have been all solved
with some direct conversation about a
problem in question we heard you were
killing puppies are you killing puppies
no here's the proof convention person oh
okay great the problem was these
grown-ass adults were believing a lot of
this gross disgusting misogynistic
anti-semitic [\h__\h] at face value and
giving people who started and continue
to perpetuate this power over the victim
and not standing by the victim even
though there was overwhelming evidence
let's be real if i were this gross kp
monster over here why would i still have
a team after all this like are all these
legal adults just manipulated to do my
bidding because they're too stupid to
know better like come on you are
indirectly insulting who you think are
the perceived voices in this case like
friendship
magic guys right
right don't forget all the sexual
harassment that was just
everywhere
so fast forward in time where i made the
cam girl image that a lot of people have
seen
mostly just to share with my friends but
again a couple months later we thought
it would be funny to post it on 4chan
and see if it could get around and it
did
now fast forward a year when i'm trying
to do conventions again and for one
specific convention i was posting
publicly about splitting a table at a
convention gone wrong for the record the
reason why i prefer to split tables when
i travel to in-person conventions fall
under practical reasons firstly i am
often scheduled to do panels as well as
vendant conventions it's much easier if
someone is already there when i have to
run off to do panels or to go to the
bathroom or food or breaks this also
comes down to a safety issue being a
girl in an unfamiliar place this was
instead interpreted by a minority of
people as me being too cheap to pay for
my own booth and look at the cheap jew
who doesn't want to pay for things
hahahahaha by people who were convention
staff money odd
we'd still have to pay him though
payment exposure
can we get a new can we get new staff up
here man
i also never said i wasn't willing to
not pay for splitting table costs by the
way it was solely for the reasons i just
mentioned like a second ago when i was
on site for a convention i'll just not
name right now there was a
miscommunication and i ended up talking
to one of the angry twitter people who
was also salty that she did thumbnail
art for me one time probably assuming
that we do make money and i was just too
cheap to actually commission her or
something also this but she wants me to
draw her oc for her for free
uh but she doesn't even welcome but she
wants me to drop
it
as i said i'm not somebody who i feel
works better in group projects but i do
feel i'm somebody who prefers having
structure given to me as rather than
trying to build structure on my own
which i can do but i find it quite
difficult
and i think
group projects like this does offer that
opportunity it gives you that structure
to work within
and i think the fact that
people will say well no you can only do
things if you're getting paid for it it
cuts you off from a lot of resources
that could benefit you in ways
and i think
turning away from that just because
there is no
payment in it
i i just i feel it's it's this mentality
of you can only write something if
you're going to write the next
best-selling novel you can't write
something just to practice it it's the
same mentality
and i think it's a little bit insulting
when people feel the only reason artists
and writers and animators and game
programmers will do something
is because they want to be paid and if
they don't get paid for a project it's
because they're naive and they don't
understand how things work
i find that quite insulting and i think
it actually discourages people who are
getting into creating things online it
discourages them from using things that
are available to them
to get better in certain ways to get
involved in group projects because they
get told
oh well if you're not getting paid for
it you're a sucker and i think that's
extremely unfair and i think it's
extremely limiting and i think it's
quite insulting because it insinuates
that all creators online who do things
without payment are
naive and young and all that kind of
thing and
some of us have worked professionally
within this industry and to write it off
as naivety it's
i i find it rather insulting and that's
just me personally and
i feel it's an asset that can be
utilized just like any other asset
so i ended up trying to talk to her at
most in a firm way i guess and explain
what i just told you and then she
exploded then into the monster kp image
that she was already misled about and i
did the stupid thing where i apologize
for it and again as history shows when
you apologize for something sometimes
that affirms guilt to people who might
not understand the whole story and this
person instead of reporting it to staff
the table person then used twitter as
well as the narrative of me just being a
bad person to validate her story and in
combination with my already
misinformation standing that i'm now
clarifying it was kind of a hot mess as
well as exaggerating that harassment and
talking to someone are two different
things i just took down that apology
recently because it was stupid and i'm
not apologizing for being firm and
trying to talk to you about a
miscommunication i've learned my lesson
i'm not apologizing for something that
you thought i did again these are grown
adults who are just reading believing
everything they want to and it doesn't
matter how it affected me because she
deserved it because the thing i read
must be true and not someone trying to
lie or inflate something to get those
retweet dunks
danger being eliminated
one of my favorite lines from all this
was there are pedophiles in the fandom
people need to get their priorities
checked ugh so good maybe she thought i
was going to come after her with my my
little pony theme mafia or something is
this is stupid this is also the same
convention that had all the sexual
harassment the last time so that
eventually led to more cons that you're
dropping me which fine i guess but let
it cool off bronycon con head shear
goldberg specifically called me as to
not you know leave a paper trail but my
disappointment in bronycon in particular
was that the stuff ended up getting
cleared in a letter later and they were
again enabling this garbage and all this
abuse if they let the stuff control the
narrative and how they treated me so
after it was clear they didn't want to
talk to me directly about the 2019 show
i don't even know i was bothering at
this point i wrote a public letter where
i mostly criticized this attitude while
people like lost and mad grow on the
guest list and were actually doing some
shady things at best and these issues
were overlooked because as the target i
decided and was gaslit not to bring
attention to these issues so grown
adults sheriff goldberg you know i guess
one of your own people can actually turn
out to be a piece of [\h__\h] personally
retorted by trying to ban me from
vending a week before the convention and
had security on my ass as well as not
allowing me to sit behind my own goddamn
booth that i was paying for and also
moving all my panels to midnight or when
i am you know petty petty [\h__\h] again
cheer your head of a community that
believes in love and friendship and
magic and general morality what the [\h__\h]
were you doing so later when it turns
out there was an actual bronycon
security guard who was a confirmed
pedophile this is the story of grizzly
the medic real name taylor lasalle a
member of bronycon security who was
placed in charge of the safety of many
people at a convention including
children and he's also a child molester
lasalle was caught in the same kind of
place that many of brony have been
caught in during the last two years
knowingly and deliberately sexting a
minor and sexting a minor with this
weird insistence on being the top and
sharing company we're trying to play it
out and gaslight the victims for pr
hi emmy i'm sure the former bronycon
chair you've mentioned some things that
implied you were one of the people hurt
by grizzly if that's true and you'd like
to talk to me about it please let me
know i apologize for not reaching out
sooner to ask i only saw your tweets
today
i know and understand the frustration
it's scary and easy to think the worst
when an organization stays silent when
something happens where the privacy and
safety of victims are at risk our policy
is not to make a public statement about
it and instead reach out privately to
those affected our intent is to prevent
anyone who has already hurt additional
distress by giving the incident as
little air time as possible and putting
their confidentiality and safety first
i know in this situation this policy is
tougher to understand so much of this is
public that you've probably
unfortunately gotten used to the stress
of having things open to public comment
however bronycon's reach is very broad
and making a statement would bring much
more intense scrutiny on you than would
otherwise occur
many people who follow bronycon social
media aren't aware of what's happening
and the quickest way to increase the
reach and likelihood of another bad
actor seeing this information would be
to make a statement
a lot of sensitive information about you
and others is out there and we'd like to
do what we can to make sure it doesn't
get into the wrong hands or make things
worse for any of you
at this point we have additional
concerns that making a public statement
would come across as trying to win back
goodwill rather than out of sincerity if
people choose to believe that this is
part of a cover-up that's their
prerogative right now we want to focus
on providing support to you and getting
the appropriate action taken against
grizzly
man that was some delicious delicious
irony you can't ask for anything better
than that it's like poetry so if they
rhyme
every stanza kind of rhymes with the
last one
to be fair there might have been some
legal reason why they chose to do this
but still it wasn't a good move i
wouldn't trust anyone who tries to
belittle the psychological effects
sexual harassment abuse has on children
with a 10 foot pole and they sure as
hell shouldn't be allowed to plan public
events imagine if this happened at an
elementary school or something it would
be a nightmare how dare you ruin the
reputation of my adult my little pony
convention do you survivor of sexual
harassment as purple tinker the original
founder of bronycon said a few weeks ago
it's all about pr it's not about right
and wrong it's not about protecting
innocent people from those who would do
them harm it's just about don't cause
drama and don't rock the boat and don't
be bad pr and it's always been like that
it talks a good talk about love
intolerance but uses that to shut down
anyone who brings up real problems it
labels the discussion of serious
problems as dwama this is a fandom where
if you're being abused you're expected
to be silent or else you're just causing
more dwama if someone else gets angry
about having been abused their scene is
the problem because you aren't allowed
to get angry here even if you're being
horribly mistreated and don't forget
about the body pillows some more body
pillows oh look
a body pillow here's perhaps the largest
selection of body pillows here are some
more body pillows
fun fact i actually asked jenny about
doing the anastasia video a little bit
ago but then i chickened out when
following up about it because i didn't
want to seem like i wasn't authentic and
just using people for collabs but we
still have this jenny don blue style art
and please enjoy it with your eyeballs
part four bonus round even more
harassment
so i thought this was gonna be the end
of the video but i got a fun note
essentially so i skimmed the one that
was the most aggressive i guess so
anything i feel like hasn't been covered
in this main video i'm just gonna go
through and debunk here the problem
about the recording is the recording
shouldn't exist at all it is illegal
because just because it's not illegal in
your state doesn't mean it's not illegal
in my state and in my state in
california guess what you need two-party
consent so yeah that makes still legal
keeping in mind that recording someone
without their consent varies state by
state legal wise there is something
called the federal wiretap act it is
illegal for any person to secretly
record an oral telephonic or electronic
communication that other parties of the
communication expect to be private
because this conversation was recorded
in three different states it also might
fall into federal law for those
non-americans federal law is the u.s
country's law comparatively to state
laws which vary state by state and
federal law overpowers state law there
you go you don't have to see hamilton
now criminal consequences can include
being in jail for up to five years or a
fine of 500
or both but regardless if it's illegal
or not it's still unethical to record
someone without their consent or
knowledge if you really want to record
that call you should have asked
beforehand and you should have also made
it clear that that was your intention if
i would have known this call was going
to be recorded then i would have never
agreed to it and again the fact that you
think i might lie is just kind of just
being overly aggressive about the
situation like i went to call one
enclosure obviously that whole call was
a mistake because there was a lot of
gross things that were said in the call
and i regret the whole thing i regret
even wanting it and these are kind of
the confusing complaints like if more
parties were traumatized as well like
other things external to this then i'm
not sure why these things were said to
me the whole oh she waited a year and
i'm just like trauma is not linear as
far as recovery and if something is
triggering someone it's very fresh and
new like i'm not doing this to myself on
purpose it's just this is something
that's still really bothering me and
still something that i have to deal with
on my daily life i'm not just like
obsessing over it because i refuse to
move on that's not how trauma works
trauma victims don't just not want to
move on they do want to move on that's
kind of the whole point so stating the
year or how long or it's been so long is
kind of not really relevant to the
argument telling me to take a bubble
bath is dismissive of the actual issues
i guess maybe that was trying to help
but it's also kind of like forget about
it it's fine
just go distract yourself telling it
someone to distract themselves from
issues is dismissive of the actual
issues i feel i'll give credit words to
sure like i also said lost this role was
not minimal i know it was minimal and i
know she tried to rain boggs again and
though i appreciate losses public and
private apologies the fact of the matter
is is she's apologizing publicly now
something she should have done years ago
and something she should have taken
responsibility years ago for it publicly
because again all this stuff was public
and that kind of still bothers me i also
never discussed that losses role was not
minimal she just denied crucial
information and that takes up a good
chunk of this retort thing
and i think the not naming thing is a
silly excuse i wasn't not named at all
this affects multiple people not
counting outside views of specific
people as well as i wanted authority
over my story this happened to me right
and again this was all public stuff like
the fake twitter threats republic
michael's doxing was public the twitter
itself was public i get trying to solve
things in a private environment but this
was not a private thing that happened
this was a public thing that people
still use to judge me and discriminate
me and be cruel to me so i thought and i
still think that public apologies and
clearing up something you had a public
hand in is fair i'm not trying to be
overly mean here clean up your mess like
this was a public thing
and again if i'd known los was involved
in the twitter when i contacted her to
begin with i never would have talked to
her that would have been deeply
upsetting like the whole reason i tried
to talk to her was because in public she
was being calm and trying to be
controlling and trying to be like oh i
don't hate you i'm like oh maybe someone
can understand what the [\h__\h] is
happening because i don't understand
what the [\h__\h] is happening because these
were not based on lots of issues these
were based on a couple issues that were
not talked about to me directly and then
made into a public thing so my confusion
is why were people trying to talk to me
about this beforehand and like i said i
feel like she needed closure on her time
on the team and she needed some
understanding as far as like the john de
lancie video yeah i get that i get that
that's fine but like talk to me about
that first there seems to be like a
conflict of interest here loss never
knew i was suicidal um i can prove that
here's an audio clip of mike saying i
was suicidal i know you've been like on
suicide watching [\h__\h] like that i know
you've been depressed i know you're
[\h__\h] worried about your goddamn mind
how would have you gotten that
information one of the only people i
told and by i knew michael was behind
the twitter like i had a seeking
suspicion obviously if i knew when i had
proof i would have stopped it myself
right right
nothing was confirmed and there was no
means for me to stop it and i think
people even the comments and stuff were
like i think this is boggs and boggs was
like i don't know who that michael is
so there's no way to really stop it
until we had confirmation it was him so
the thing that i needed was the
confirmation and my suspicions confirmed
and proof my original reasoning for that
call again was to get peace but also
accountability i appreciated that you
know it was stated that lying was wrong
and all that stuff but what also really
upset me was the lack of accountability
for the whole thing from the beginning
and her reasoning not trying to justify
her bad choices is what retriggered me
and what got me really upset it's also
kind of deflection
this is about other people that i did
not have any control over i did not tell
them to do anything if you have issues
with them please talk to them directly i
have no control over other people
so my sourcing and testimony for this
incident is in the description just
heads up that my source has requested to
remain anonymous and i personally wasn't
there for this so please remember that
that is why i use the word allegedly
allegedly for those who don't know means
it might not be true or not and the
reason i'm
even mentioning this is because there
are several times where
the wrong thing is said and just like it
should be my choice as far as how this
is told and who is responsible and all
that fun stuff so the fact that it's
even being said that like people don't
like you and you don't want to deal with
that it's it more should be rephrased as
i know there's people that don't like
ukp that i know that will be upset if
you come forward with this
so let me talk to them let let's try to
figure out why they don't like you have
they ever like had any interaction with
me could these be something that can be
resolved is it because of the bog stuff
in the first place that they don't like
me that stuff can be diffused that
shouldn't be used as a reason to distort
my narrative and i get the concern but
the right response should have been like
let's talk to those people first or
let's figure out what those problems are
if they can be solved but those
shouldn't be a deterrent for how i want
to talk about what i want to talk about
and i feel like that's hurtful and i
feel like that's a problem i wasn't
there for this incident but i'm just
mentioning it because advocacy about
mental health can also be used to
manipulate facts as we saw earlier i
don't even know this is true or not
that's why i use the words allegedly but
it just is a possible example i didn't
name anyone in the post please don't
assume things about people i don't name
and post as a way to dismiss what i'm
saying and then the last thing is
spreading the post and spreading my
story is not the same thing as landers i
didn't want people to go be like you're
a [\h__\h] [\h__\h] you [\h__\h] you [\h__\h] you [\h__\h]
you that's what i did not want that's
not helping the situation and that's why
i spread it but like those are the
differences that i did not want and to
be clear this is not about you i'm not
doing this to get a response out of you
frankly i prefer no response i'm doing
this for myself and to correct the
narrative that i have to deal with on a
day-to-day basis that you and other
people contributed to maybe next time be
more careful about who you secretly
record thanks i just want to note that a
lot of this feels like misdirection and
trying to prove a case of general
harassment when it's not i'm just trying
to correct the narrative and that's what
happens when your credibility is
diminished it nitpicks my feeling that i
thought boggs was behind the account
without any proof it nitpicks how i
spread this post even though it
shouldn't be relevant it nitpicks zack
and corey's involvement with their
horrible horses video even though the
video starts with a disclaimer that i
wasn't involved with any of it so i
don't know why we're mentioning this it
shared a twitter post that no one was
tagged in to try to villainize me a
little more because we're using the
victim's poor standing with society you
know the reputation that other people
actively contributed to to discredit
what she's saying that's a little [\h__\h]
part five closing
so what can we take away from all this
one i have been much more charitable to
the bronies because again most of my
in-person experiences have been great
and favorable and people are supportive
and nice and great there is even one guy
who came to the kp booth at bronycon
when i wasn't there and collectively
gave the team 100 out of support you go
that guy i don't think many people
realize this but being a youtuber can
have a big weight on your mental health
i still have problems dealing with this
today i've been hospitalized in 2017.
i'm not talking about this because i
want you to feel sorry for me but
because i want to paint a picture of
this reality you can't do things on the
internet go haha just kidding i might be
a psychopath and just ignore
responsibility to do your part to clear
up something that you had a public role
in anonymous does not equal
unaccountable stop being a dick clean up
your mess just because you're on the
internet doesn't mean it doesn't count
and i've said this before but [\h__\h]
communicate when doing anything on the
internet and hopefully coven has
enforced this but this could have been
avoided and many people could have
avoided getting hurt if the student
turned into a bunch of teenage girls
gossiping like it's [\h__\h] high school
it helps ensure your friendships are
genuine if you can have your boundaries
respected understand intentions and help
your friends when they clearly ask for
help isn't there an honest horse girl or
something i did a more in-depth video
about this before link in the
description go get it if you want to
and that's the thing i'm not going to
let other people define me anymore
and much as some of these choices range
from harmless to illegal frankly the
psychological reasons people do this are
a need for validation power
dehumanization of a target to bond with
other people you know etc basically when
a group of people bullies someone else
they do it not because of the victim but
to bond with the other people bullying
the other people and to give validation
which says a lot about why they need
that validation in the first place ick
you know this guy at the time seemed to
have the right idea as far as how the
fandom should have reacted you know
friendship and magic and stuff so i'll
let him talk about that
as bronies we did adopt love intolerance
and you know i think it's been lost
i think that we no longer love and
tolerate
i think the bullies won
the bullies who hated this fandom and
and dragged it down and dragged its name
through the mud
people got so sick of putting up with
the hate
from the bullies that they
gave up on their values they gave up on
love and tolerance they gave up on
forgiveness they gave up on all the
things that made this community so
positive and so great i'm tired of
people judging me based on
misinformation i'm tired of this
misinformation not only hurting me but
people it's apparently trying to help
i'm tired of people also implying that
these same team members are stupid for
working for free despite knowing nothing
about them i'm tired of people
preferring their anonymity even when
they contributed to a very bad thing
because they are afraid how it will
affect how people view them even though
it affects the victims and their
families every single day i'm tired of
militarization for the sake of other
people's self-esteem i'm tired of people
saying their allies to abuse victims
even though they try to dictate how
abuse victims tell their stories i'm
tired of people downplaying serious
issues and calling it drama i think in
general we shouldn't use the term
canceled to undermine general serious
problems that are going on with our
society i feel like everything these
days is getting cancelled but what's
really going on are people really in the
bad are we just quickly reacting i
wasn't actually canceled a lot of people
that i trusted started leaking stuff and
starting to run this narrative that i
was a mean person to get attention and
then everyone kind of run with it i'm
hoping that this video finally puts all
of that to bed so i think we should be a
little bit more delicate when throwing
around this term canceled when there's
some serious things that might be also
going on beneath the surface and again
don't harass don't harass anyone
mentioned just don't harass generally
it's not going to change anything at
this point just be careful communicate
spread the word and just because it's on
the internet doesn't mean you can get
away with it you're crazies
that's all folks except it's not time
for the ending gag
hey hey kramer
kramer
what
you stupid
[Applause]
[Music]
hey everyone thanks so much for watching
if you like what you saw please remember
to leave a comment and share this with a
friend or two or five
click here to subscribe really
appreciate it click here to check out
the main collaborator for this video
click here to check out our video
playlist of this video where you might
find similar videos that hopefully you
like and enjoy there's also a credit
scroll here where you can check out all
the other awesome contributors all their
info is in the description that's all i
gotta say kpoa