In my last video on I Love Kim Possibles
recent response titled Let's Talk, I
highlighted the fact that this probably
wasn't what she intended in a response
video. I also noted that at least some
details from those early drafts had
leaked because they were highlighted by
people like Touni on Twitter. Now, at
time of recording, I've been unable to
gain a copy of one of the original audio
drafts. However, what I have been handed
is nearly as good. A copy of the
original draft script for the video. I
took a shot in the dark and checked in
with a few people who I thought may have
heard one of these original drafts. And
they did at least confirm that this
version of the video is accurate, though
not complete. It seems there may have
been an even longer version of this
video, though God knows what was in
that. Regardless, I do think it is worth
talking about this original draft
version because it is very different
from what was actually released and
presumably KP have been working on this
version for a significantly longer
period of time. That being said, rather
than just releasing it onto Twitter or
reading it on live, I decided that you
deserve a full feeling of what this
video could have actually been. With
that in mind, I've decided to do a full
reconstruction. So, sit down, grab a
drink, and let's talk.
This video discusses sensitive topics,
including grooming, power dynamics, and
online harassment. Viewer discretion is
advised. 18 plus content warning. Do not
harass anyone discussed in this video.
Hi everyone, this is KP. I just wanted
to take this opportunity to clear the
air a little bit. because I took some
time away from a really messy situation
and now I'm coming back to it. For those
who don't know, in early May I released
a video commenting on some behavior
regarding fellow YouTubers Save Spark
and DA Games and it wasn't really
wellreceived for a number of reasons.
And first off, I just want to apologize
for the tone that came with it. What I
didn't realize is by talking about such
serious topics and using jokes and
memes, it would come off as insulting
and immature. But for me personally,
that's how I process trauma is I do a
lot of dark jokes to cope with my own
personal trauma. Like my line about John
Stewart. So the John Stewart example was
Jewish humor as coping because I'm
Jewish. So that's not a flex. So I
didn't realize that it wasn't an
internalized viewpoint. And I just want
to say that obviously any type of trauma
is horrible and bad. And I'm so sorry
you had to deal with anything. And
everyone copes in their own way. So
please look up some healthy coping
techniques or find a professional
therapist or do whatever you need to do
to process it in whichever way you want.
So once I realized that tone was a
problem, I took the video down within 3
or 4 hours of upload and we were going
to decide what to do next. And a lot of
people were criticizing my interactions
on Twitter leading up to the video
coming out.
But a lot of it was personal katharsis
for me because this was such a hard
project and we were working on it for
such a hard time and it was hard for me
personally. It was like it was sad
hearing about all of these stories like
regardless and that was interpreted as
ego and just for full disclosure I was
dealing with a PTSD episode in response
to everything that happened with the
failure of this video. So people assumed
my silence was completion or guilt. And
it makes me feel really weird because it
makes me feel like I'm not even allowed
to have my own space to process
decisions that I make at my own speed.
Like if I don't react immediately, then
suddenly I'm guilty of everything
everyone can think of. So just for the
record, I hate creators with ego. I know
I joke a lot about myself, but I really
don't think you should be making art or
anything really with ego attached. art
especially because I feel like that's
kind of a sacred thing to do. But with
ego, you make it about power dynamics
and who has the most subscribers or who
has the most views and it's just
exhausting. And that's one of the
reasons I've been doing YouTube the way
I've been doing it for as long as I have
because I love art and animation and I
like talking about it in a way that I
can express and have fun with. It's just
part of who I am and what I like to do
and what like my deep artistic soul. So,
I would probably just be doing it anyway
in my head. The real question no one
really asked is okay. But what was she
trying to say? If you've never heard my
side before, I'm here to make sure
there's even a second side to hear. And
I invite you to sit with the patterns of
these issues, not the personalities.
So, the core of the main video
originally was to criticize DA Games
Will Ryan and the rest of his team for
not only how they run their Discord
server, but how they handle their
interactions with their fans,
specifically children. There is
documented proof of problematic
behavior, including using slurs,
accounts of parasocial behavior, and the
worst one, accidentally sharing
inappropriate images in the server that
children have access to. and instead of
addressing it and apologizing and giving
a plan for how they'll never do it
again, they just erase the evidence. And
if a creator has access to children and
behaves recklessly, that deserves
scrutiny. Period. Fame just isn't a
shield. So, let's get this straight. The
core of the video was not only my
interactions with DA Games, but how they
handle issues of grooming and
specifically issues with children. We're
talking about someone with influence,
access, and no real oversight. This
isn't cancel culture. We're not trying
to cancel anyone. This is community
protection. It should have been
everyone's concern, frankly. And yet,
the second I brought it up, the focus
became my tone, not the risk. Let's be
clear, the internet will always turn
everything into content. But some things
aren't content, they're warnings. I
didn't come forward because I wanted
attention. I came forward because kids
were involved. And if the biggest
takeaway from that is still she seems
mad, then we need to take a hard look at
what kind of fandom culture we're
building. What I liked or didn't like
doesn't change whether a grown man acted
recklessly around miners. So, let's talk
about the power of the creator. If
you're a creator with a young fan base,
you don't get to be reckless. You don't
get to play naive. This isn't a hobby.
It's a position of power. And when the
powers mishandled, then people can get
hurt. Especially kids who don't know
when someone is crossing a line. The
question shouldn't have been why did KP
say it like that. It should have been
what was she trying to say? This wasn't
about one incident. It was a pattern, a
documented, longstanding one. If the
roles were reversed, if a small creator
ignored this kind of behavior in someone
else, they'd be complicit. So why is it
controversial to speak up when I did?
The risk wasn't the careers. The risk
was the kids who trusted someone they
admired and maybe didn't have the tools
to know when that trust was being
broken. I shouldn't have been the first
person to say it. I mean, I wasn't, but
I'm glad I did. So, during this, I
recorded a story for my safety about
someone making an explicit story about
me. First off, I want to apologize. I
thought it was clear that I was
recording Chris, but I should have just
said it outright, but the recording was
framed as worse than the harm, like
worse than making up a gross, illicit, a
story about another person that might
affect their career prospects. and don't
tell them until the story gets back to
them. It makes it seem gross. And if
you're more upset about how someone
defended themselves than why they had
to, that's not accountability.
Some people have pointed out that it was
unfair that I recorded Chris without his
explicit knowledge, which is fair. So,
I've taken down all the links of the
recording. I don't have access to the
raw file, but I've taken down where
people have access to it. So, in
hindsight, I should have just asked
Chris to do a public apology explaining
the situation because I was personally
afraid that that story would continue to
harm business friendships and
relationships because no one would ever
have the correct version. Would Chris
have done that? I don't know. I don't
really know Chris, but that was a little
bit of my fear to be honest.
I'm just exhausted of people talking
about me without me having a way to
respond. and dear games, they loved me.
They sent me three legal requests,
including two they used dummy accounts
to send me. Pause to read if you want
to. So, they see more focus in silencing
the people that actually had criticism
than addressing and correcting the
actual criticism. So, now we get to
Sabre. My personal connection with Saber
Spark was uncomfortable. And I'll just
leave it at that. So going to Sabre was
about holding Chris accountable for his
behavior, for the story, the Nazi
images, but especially his behavior that
endangered children, and the unhealthy
DA games behavior at large. And he
framed me as a jealous girl mad about
rejection. Shout out to Jenny Nicholson
for calling out how he implied a
narrative about open communication, but
the evidence doesn't support that. She's
the goat. And I don't want to be mean,
but I'm not crushing. Sit down, sir. I'm
open for our Skype blogs being made
public to prove what happened. I'm tired
of stories being shaped in private.
Sabre can contact me if he wants to do
that. We have already tried contacting
him, and I have verification from a
mutual party that he's seen those emails
and chosen not to respond. And just to
be clear, I don't want to make content
lightsaber. Dismissing shows as cringe
or surface level ruins audience
engagement and emotional nuance. Cynical
creators create shallow viewers and
hurts the creators behind the work. This
can harm executive decisions on
struggling shows unfairly. We should
fight for the future of animation, not
mock it in the algorithm. Anyway, going
back to Sabre, he framed this as tone
problems. And one of the things that
came from that is that the perfect
victim myth got reinforced. More
resources in the description if you
don't know what that is. Others used to
use the video for content without
context. What do you mean turns into how
can I monetize this? Cartoon sheep,
person I've never met before. this
didn't reach out to me, didn't quote any
actual intentions, and didn't seem
interested in checking his assumptions.
He made a spectacle out of a story he
wasn't a part of, then acted like his
read was the neutral, mature one, but
really it's lazy and passive gaslighting
in language of reasonleness.
This seems to be a pattern with a lot of
people that were commenting on this
case. And if your attention's really
good and not monetizing YouTube drama
for your own personal gain, why don't
you donate your monetized profits to
charity? I'll wait for the receipts. So,
one of the things I did was review the
video with other trauma survivors. But I
didn't realize that experience wasn't
universal. And then people benefited
from it. like this one incident where
someone shared a DM publicly without
context after offering to help me and
being a fanboy. And then a spicy comment
was about coping, not about dismissal.
This wasn't ethics. This was optics. And
then there was the situation with
Courtney P. For those who don't know,
Courtney P is another YouTuber and she
got into a fight in the live chat with
another trauma survivor and it wasn't
great. And for the record, I disagree
with how Courtney acted. I checked on
the person she dismissed, discussed
things directly, and cut ties. Something
else I noticed is a lot of people who
talk about me only talk about their side
of the story, often framed for clout or
trends, and this can incite harassment,
unfortunately. So, just please be more
careful and have more honest
conversations.
There was how Mr. Enter treated me
initially. He used the lettering tone in
comments like, "This isn't My Little
Pony, Rachel." to dismiss valid
emotional testimony. He reduced nuance
trauma to poor tone, not just mine, but
other people's, or emotional
instability. He positioned himself as
the reasonable adult versus immature fan
girl, painting the story as punishment
instead of pain. and he focused more on
bullet points and timeline logic than
the human impact. He assumed I was lying
in places without giving me a chance to
clarify. He ignored the deeper emotional
truth about what was being said, and he
dismissed it as drama. Despite
everything, I still appreciate that Mr.
Enter gave me the chance to talk, even
though I should have waited a little
bit. And let me also just be clear about
this. Sometimes passion in men is seen
as genius, but passion in women is seen
as unstable. I know I'm intense. How I
present myself in my YouTube videos when
I'm a horse sometimes is not the same as
how I present myself in real life and
how my thought process works. I
personally exaggerate myself for comedy
and that gets read as an oversimplified
version of my character which affects my
fandom friendship sometimes. It makes me
feel a little unsafe. Something that I'm
also seeing is that people's friends or
favorite content creators are very
special and there's emotional connection
there. And when they're found out doing
something bad or perceived to be doing
something bad, then some people don't
question that loyalty. And like maybe
you should, maybe you should try and get
every possible perspective you can.
Maybe your friend's version of the truth
might not match the other perspective of
the other person. And then it gets into
the bigger problem. When fanboys catch
feelings and don't get reciprocated,
suddenly I'm crazy or too much. I stop
being insightful and start being
unstable. Gaslighting through facts.
Survivors mess up dates or details and
get dismissed completely. And trauma
isn't a spreadsheet. Pain doesn't happen
in bullet points. Like, can't we just
admit that Sabre might have made
mistakes, too? I get questions about
whether I regret platforming Emily and
the answer is complicated. Emily
recently did a video where she opens up
about her side of things. And if you
want to hear from her perspective, link
is in the description. But I also want
to say this, the goal was never to make
Emily the center of this. It was to hold
patterns accountable. And I regret by
bringing Emily in, it distracted to what
the whole video was supposed to be. I
don't think I was wrong to listen to
somebody and potentially try and help
them, but I think the execution and the
advice I gave could have been different
in hindsight. Maybe I should have been
more firm about her filing a police
report first. Even during editing,
someone cross boundaries who knew what
the video was about. This isn't rare.
This is a pattern. And when people
volunteer for me, sometimes their
expectations are fun times with KP and
they're being worked. and me putting up
my own boundaries seems dismissive of
their expectations. I'm not interested
in building a brand on trauma. I'm not
letting this get reframed as a scandal
when it was a warning. Some things to
take away from this is have honest
conversations with your friends or your
work environment. It can save a lot of
stress. Trust me. I know you don't have
to agree with it, but I hope you sit
with it. Especially the child
endangerment behavior. How can we use
this experience to better share online
communities for kids and adults? Should
we have more strict age restrictions or
more universal moderation guidelines for
creators? And just a reminder that
harassment is never okay. Criticism of
the video and situation is fine, but
people use this opportunity to tell me
to unalive myself. And me taking space
from the situation was seen as a
dismissal of the concerns. I feel like
I'm not allowed to have boundaries
sometimes. and consider why you have to
tell a person you never met that they
shouldn't be alive anymore. That's not
okay.
Just some bonus things to take away from
this. I also didn't realize how weird
Brody Fandone was like the level, but it
seems to me that he's very mentally ill
and I hope he gets the help he needs.
Sorry.
Oh, [\h__\h] me.
And maybe takes a break from the
internet.
So regardless of CLA, the Black Griffin
tweets are still kind of weird. But what
about Destiny? What about the kids that
Gabe was DMing? For those who don't
remember, Destiny was Black Griffin's
original accuser. What about the deviant
art note where he's trying to hang out
with a 14-year-old? Sabre used my
video's performance as an excuse to
ignore the issues. And shout out to all
my friends and supporters and fans that
were skeptical of information when it
was first coming out. You guys are the
real MVPs and I really appreciate it. I
know this was a weird situation, but
your loyalty and patience means a lot
and I really appreciate you. like Never
Stop Shining and just some happy things
to end on. So, what's next? I've been
working on a show pitch and I'm really
hoping something like my story can
change the world. This is my dog, Toby.
He's very cute and he likes to wear
outfits. Please enjoy.
[Music]